Shop More Submit  Join Login
×

More from deviantART



Details

Submitted on
January 15, 2012
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
1,334
Favourites
4 (who?)
Comments
31
×
  • Mood: Irritated
So today, I go to FanFiction.net, looking maybe for some CellXFrieza yaoi or a neat Alternate Universe fic. Instead I find more horrible self-inset Mary Sue fics about OC/Goku. I seriously cannot take anymore of the 'Saiyan-girl who was on another planet when Frieza blew it up and found out how to go SSJ 10' story. It's so irritating, just like Mary-sues in general, anyways. In honesty, the only Saiyan OC I ever liked was DarthGlacier's, mostly because she's reasonable in terms of power, and has a LIKABLE personality. Other than that, Saiyan-sues make me gag.
So why am I bringing up this over-used topic? I'd like to take a few out of my time to send a message to fans about GOOD writing, and how to make a believable OC, because, as evident by the shit-ton of crappy Fanfics out there, SOMEONE'S got to.

Let's start by Character design. ALWAYS THINK REALISTICALLY. A pink and purple-haired Saiyan chick with a flower tank-top, Ambercrombie skinny jeans and a magic necklace that shoot lasers just isn't gonna fit in the Dragonball universe. Try a battle jacket, just like the rest of Lord Frieza's army. Or, if she's a hero, a training Gi in your choice of color, or a simple outfit, like Android 18. If you need more than two sentences to describe your characters outfit you've gone too far. Besides, you focus the spotlight on your character too much doing that anyways. (More on that later.)
  Your Saiyan girl also has to be, well... A Saiyan. She needs black hair if she's a pure-blood Saiyan, and if she's part of the Brief's family, restrict the only other optional colors to blue and purple, no matter how tempting it may be. She also needs that lust of battle, to the point of an addiction to punching people's faces in, and if she's a pure-blood, she needs the sadistic and stubborn nature they have. She's not gonna be Snow White 'friend-to-all-living-things' if she's pure Saiyan, and don't even THINK about conking her on the head and making her lose her evil nature. It's just not original, it's cheap, and will honestly make your audience roll their eyes and say "Of course....". If she isn't a Saiyan, give yourself a pat on the back for being original, and the same should apply with personalities. Namekians should be asexual, Icejins are going to have a sense of coldness and cruelty to them, and humans are going to be totally useless. (Just kidding.)

Next, lets go with his/her sense of importance to the story. PLEASE, REFRAIN FROM GOING OVER-THE-TOP. The main character should be Goku or Gohan, or if she's a baddie, the main Bad Guy of the Saga you're focusing on. You can have some moments to let your OC shine and, more importantly, develop, but no one wants to read an "It's all about ME!" story about your character hogging all the glory and action. It's all about having a sense of balance. She also shouldn't be God-like in power, for the same exact reason. Her relationships with the others should be reasonable as well. Vegeta isn't gonna go ga-ga over her, Goku isn't gonna be suave around her, and Frieza isn't gonna be a sweet-heart. In fact, romance should take time to blossom. No-ones gonna buy a Love-at-first-sight- story.
  You also need to be well-balanced about your characters powers and techniques. If she goes training with Frieza or Piccolo, she isn't gonna just pick up all the moves without breaking a sweat. Nobody's perfect, unless of course you're Cell. It took Gohan months to learn all of the fighting techniques that Piccolo taught him. It should be no different with your character. Show her struggling, and again, DEVELOPING. (Gohan went from whiny toddler who was dependent on Goku to a  brave and courageous little kid who fought to defend his friends, for example.) Don't give her everyone's moves, either, unless, AGAIN, you're Cell. Nobody likes a copycat. Try to have a sense of balance on her movepool.
Finally, try to be original. Don't copy other character's discovery of new powers or characters roles. And PLEASE don't re-color. That's not cool. You want to make your OC stand out in a GOOD way.


Hopefully people learn to pick up these things when writing fanfiction, because a likable OC isn't impossible, I've seen it. Peace out, all hail Frieza. :P
Add a Comment:
 
:icontheauthormissn:
TheAuthorMissN Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I just disagree with one thing. Ice-Jins are not developed in DBZ, and, even though it'd be logic they'd be cold and cruel, I'd might be different. I mean, the only Ice-Jins we know are rich, powerful overlords, that can explain their feeling of superiority, but I don't see why the other ones should be like that.
Reply
:iconrosemary-the-skunk:
Rosemary-the-Skunk Featured By Owner Jul 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is a really old journal I wouldnt pay much to it 
Reply
:iconsleepstar:
Sleepstar Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I try not to make my OC's seem Mary-Sueish. I have seen OC's in the Harry Potter fandom that screams "Mary-Sue". They always have the same backstory: Twin sister of Harry's, abused by their guardian, parents killed by Voldemort, gets sorted into Gryffindor and ends up dating Draco Malfoy as well as being the "Chosen One". The backstories look like it had just been pulled out of thin air. One of my OC's, Harold, has an interesting backstory in that his dad walked out on him, his mum and the then-unborn little sister of his. But he does not make a big deal out of it. But more on him later, I better start with the appearances of the Sues. They either wear clothes that barely cover them, have their hair in near-impossible styles, have impossible eye colour, are skinny but have big breasts. Again, I will use the same OC I used in the backstories example. Appearance: Again, Harold's appearance isn't much to write about. He has messy dark brown hair, large green eyes, his build is that he is stocky and broad-chested. He has several scars on him and on his right shoulder he has a birthmark. As for his clothing he wears for most of the time, his school uniform. Only on weekends and during the holidays does he wear non uniform clothing and usually it is a pair of trousers, a shirt and a jumper. The only other outfit he wears is Quidditch robes, and in his sixth year, fancy robes due in part of the Triwizard Tournament that was taking place then. But the Sues always has the same conditions as each other. Now, again, I'll be using Harold for this bit. Health Conditions: The Sues health conditions is never mentioned, and in the odd case it is mentioned there is no logic behind it. Now, in Harold's case, he does not have the best health, but his condition is explained. In his case, when he was in his first year he was poisoned by a poison, which in Canon, does not exist. There was fears he may not survive the stuff, but the determination of the then Matron saved him, but in the process he paid a price for it. The price was that he was left with an irregular heartbeat. Despite this he is determined to live a normal life as possible. Finally Personalities: The Sues all have personalities that makes them boring. I give my OC's a mixture of personalities, and for the fourth and final time I will give an example of one of my OC's personality. In this case, Harold's personality. He is Chivalrous, especially towards girls, intelligent, humble especially when it comes to things such as Defensive spells and brave. But he do have flaws, he is reckless, vengeful when his friends are harmed such as in one drabble I wrote when his friend was attacked by Slytherins and short tempered. But I had spent a lot of time  on this OC and it clearly shows with my comment. I would rather read a fan fiction with a well thought out character than reading a fan fiction with a Cliched Mary Sue.
Reply
:iconthebigcrunchone9:
thebigcrunchone9 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I always avoid making Mary Sues if I can. I always make sure my OCs are well balanced or at least as well balanced as I can make them.
Reply
:iconrosemary-the-skunk:
Rosemary-the-Skunk Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
that's good.
Reply
:iconthebigcrunchone9:
thebigcrunchone9 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Yeah Mary Sues seem bleh to me.
Reply
:iconrosemary-the-skunk:
Rosemary-the-Skunk Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
They're annoying and shouldn't be written in the first place.
Reply
:iconthebigcrunchone9:
thebigcrunchone9 Featured By Owner May 7, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Yeah you got that right.
Reply
:iconmsriachud:
MsRiachuD Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012
They alays have the weirdest names. Like Raven or Autumn or something. Not even pun related like it's supposed to. That is a sign of uncreativity. Or their coloring is bad, like having straight blonde hair and lilac eyes. Which is impossible for sayains to have.
Reply
:iconrosemary-the-skunk:
Rosemary-the-Skunk Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh my god this. I forgot to mention the bland typical-mary-sue names they're given. Any DBZ fan knows that the Saiyans (with the exception of Goku) all have names based on vegetable puns. Raditz, Nappa, Vegeta, Zorn, the list is endless. Naturally one would assume when making a female Saiyan, they would follow that tradition, right? Nope! We have such obnoxious, super speshul names such as Flame, Mako, Nao, Azuki, Harura, Midnight, or simply naming the Saiyan after the author, (which is extremely common) as if the Mary-suishness needed to be more obvious.

And the poor design is another problem I agree with. I'm sorry, but ALL pure-blood Saiyans have black pupils and black hair. I'm seriously sick of red-haired saiyans, or saiyans with blue eyes, it's just so desperate to be unique and ughtjjkdk...
Reply
Add a Comment: